Plunging into darkness, you look for a lifeline. I came forth from the mental hospitals fighting; drugged and almost committed for life. Flashbacks and putting the pieces together, memories unearthed. Unwanted are the memories, yet they come, crying out to God to not be forgotten. The mental system is designed to lock one in without recourse. And then comes the realization that to be alive is to breathe the air without restraint. To know that after the journey of waiting, my truth has set me free. I am Hilary Nili, and I survived.