The author, a noted urban anthropologist (among other things) does not drink, smoke or gamble; his expeditions to Las Vegas, which are carried out once in two to four years, are purely for the purpose of scientific research. This essay describes his horror during his latest visit when he realized the city of sin has transformed into a city of spas. The rest of the book is a good sampling of Kalpanik's tongue-in-cheek writing style including "Inside the Giant Machine: An Amazon-dot-com Story" the book that made the author famous.