The author, raised in a mellow fundamentalist Christian sect, spoke out in defense of egregiously abused members of the group. That precipitated a decade of false accusations, harassment, and ostracization; and subsequently failed health, a lost career, and separation from a lifetime social support system. Forced to leave, he researched, the origins and history of the group and scandalous events that belied the group's harmonious reputation. Further, in his search of what to safely believe in, he gained the equivalent of a major in religious studies. He concludes with what he found would satisfy his sense of morality.