To anyone who has trudged through spiritual books and listened to endless self-help podcasts, Nearly gone broke attending woo-woo meditation seminars in faraway lands, Puked, then hallucinated for twelve hours hoping to change the memories of your past, Blearily woken up at 5 a.m. to dunk yourself in ice-cold water, then journal and update your never-satisfied vision board, downsized worldly possessions, and smelt up your house burning sage, Attempted to abstain from any food, sex, shopping, social media, news, booze or anything that brought you joy, Only to be left feeling even more isolated, confused, and alone, The Three Mantras are for you.