This is not a sob story. It's a story about the difficulties of growing into manhood and my own particular struggle with disabling anxiety that came along with it, and how I managed to find my way. That was more than fifty years ago. American life was more comfortable and comprehensible than it is now as we face the discords of what I call the long emergency. I still had a hard time. I observe that boys today are up against a whole lot more in their quest to become fully functional adult men.