I felt like I stopped breathing. As if I was under water gasping for air. My lungs were filled but the oxygen supply to my heart felt like it was cut off. What was happening to me? My heart was beating, but it felt attacked. It felt under arrest; cardiac arrest. This was an emergency.
I couldn't make sense of what I was reading. After moments of confusion and disbelief, he had to audibly tell me that he fathered another child. Livid is an understatement, confused is an understatement...I felt a myriad of emotions; angry, sad, bewildered.
My life stopped, froze and was looking back at me as if to say now what?
When the unexpected shows up you don't know what is next. How do you forgive the unforgivable when your armor becomes shame, insecurity, fear and anger?
Shame has a way of convincing you that there is no other way to navigate life's circumstances. Shame has a way of making you think you are alone and no one else has ever experienced what you are going through.
Until...
Until you realize love and shame don't occupy the same space because love covers a multitude. I felt the pain in my heart so I knew I had to forgive from my heart.
We all have hearts that have the capacity to forgive. Come forgive with me.