Bitter Sweet a collections of events, poetry, secrets, and confessions surrounding my life. It is about the horrible things I endured in life. Starting at the age of 5 I was molested by step-dad and it went on for a few years. My mother never believed a word I said to her about the incidents. She would just tell me to go to my room. At first I thought she didn't believe me due him beating her all the time but I later found out it was because she was afraid to lose her man. She chose him over me and I ended up being place elsewhere. I grew up very angry with her because I felt like she should of protected me instead of choosing a man over her own child. As I grew older I became very bitter and wanted answers that will never be given to me. I was living with my grandmother who was my fathers mom at the time. She was kind and loving to me but I still wasn't happy. I rebelled a lot and started joining any activity after school that I could to stay away from the house. I ended joining the Color Guard within my high school JROTC department but I needed help learning all the moves so my team could win at competitions. I got offered the help that I needed by one of my peers and she sent her cousin to come pick me up. That pick up was one of the worse things that could have happened to me. I never made it to my peers house. Instead I was taken in the opposite direction where I was later gang raped by different men and ended up pregnant by one of the guys. Even though I thought things couldn't get any worse after that I ended up being depressed and suicidal. I felt unloved and thought that the world would be better off with out me. Later on I started getting in one bad relationship after another, discovering my sexuality and learning life lessons the hard way.