A lackluster album by a group wearing roller skates and athletic garb, owning faces that couldn't possibly give
New Kids on the Block
or
*NSYNC
any sleepless nights, the self-titled
Capital City Rockets
album is as nondescript as its name. The band is literally so ugly looking that the label opted to put a colorful yellow, pink, green, and orange on black album cover together with a rocket and stars bursting out of the lettering. Unfortunately, the music is as boring as the band photos, a bad
blues
band coming off like
the Bay City Rollers
. Producer
Michael Rosa
sounds like he was busy reading the newspaper as this group churns out ho-hum songs over very weak musicianship. The guitar playing is substandard, and the pedestrian drums go absolutely nowhere. It's nice to see engineer
Fritz Richmond
getting some work along with conga player phenom
Bobbye Hall
, but even legendary photographer
Ed Caraeff
has a tough time with these chaps. Most of the dreadful music comes from the pen of guitarist
Robert G. Hill
, ditties like
"Ten Hole Dollars"
about paying for sex and the even worse
"Breakfast in Bed"
are sexist and unfocused and fall flat. "But I'd give ten bucks to be with you tonight," sings
Jamie Lyons
, "Ten hole dollars for an hour of your time," and from the looks on their faces they might have to pay a lot more than that for any self-respecting lady of the night! The guitar playing is so wimpy and mediocre that the
bar band
joke just doesn't stand a chance. Every once in a while record labels do a favor for someone in the business, and
sure sounds like one of those deals.
"People Are Losing"
is one of three numbers penned by the other guitarist,
Michael "Bopper" Warner
, and it might be the album's best moment, but is still nothing to write home about. Stylistically, this music didn't even belong on
Elektra
. To think of the talented musicians who didn't get a deal because these dudes did. Awful. Just awful. ~ Joe Viglione