"What's love got to do with it? Everything, according to Richard Isay's informed and illuminating look at the role of romance in modern gay life. I highly recommend this book for people of any generation and partnership status."
—Dean H. Hamer, Ph.D., author of
The Science of Desire and The God Gene
"Richard Isay offers something far better than simple bromides and false hope. In this book, he challenges us with a provocative, illuminating, and ultimately hopeful look at ourselves and explains how those of us who yearn to love and be loved (and who doesn't?) can best find happiness and healing in a committed relationship."
—Eric Marcus, author of
The Male Couple's Guide and Together Forever
"Many gay men (and others, too) are likely to find this book exceptionally interesting and helpful. In a series of vividly illuminating case histories and with a psychoanalyst's depth and clarity of insight, Richard Isay lucidly explains why gay men have particular difficulty in establishing and sustaining loving relationships and how they might sensibly improve their chances of doing so."
—Harry G. Frankfurt, Ph.D., author of
On Bullshit and The Reasons of Love
"Richard Isay's portrayals of gay men's lives are likely to be controversial. Isay is not the stereotypical psychoanalyst who sits quietly while his patients ramble—and we're all the better for that. He has something to say and what he says is worth hearing. This provocative book should be read by anyone who yearns for but hasn't yet found real love."
—William Rubenstein, Founding Director of the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and former Director of the ACLU Lesbian & Gay Rights Project
"Based on Dr. Isay's three decades of experience working with gay men in therapy, this is a deeply thoughtful study of the difficulties gay men may experience with falling and staying in love. For a gay man, reading this book may cause him to revisit some dark places along his own life's journey, but it will also give him a glimpse of the self-affirmation and capacity for change that are the goals of gay-positive psychotherapy."
—Simon LeVay, Ph.D., author of
Human Sexuality and Queer Science
"Indispensable insights from America's wisest observer of gay relationships."
—Charles Kaiser, author of
The Gay Metropolis
"Gay people seek the freedom to marry for the same mix of reasons as non-gay people, and for most, love and commitment are central. Drawing on his exceptional expertise and decades of stories from his patients, Richard Isay explores the challenges and value of romantic love—how to overcome our pasts and enrich our present lives at home—as we build a future of greater equality and inclusion in society."
—Evan Wolfson, author of
Why Marriage Matters