Werewolves. Vampires. And smartassery. After getting kidnapped out of Fort Leavenworth (where he's awaiting his murder trial), James Laudon, perennial screw-up, finds himself under the thumb of an eclectic group of assassins. The above-top-secret agency works under the umbrella of both DARPA and the Department of Defense. Led by their double-amputee boss, cryptozoologist Zane Newton, the killers include: Alexander Anatoli (Xander) - a homosexual vampire who had his fangs removed, Charlie - a Hispanic werewolf with a temper, Tisby - a sexy black British vampire, and Earlham - a pure-blood werewolf who rarely speaks. How does Laudon fit in with this group? The only thing he knows is that the other four eye him like kids salivating in front of the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral. Laudon is told that he's here to assist the team in their effort to curtail the rapidly growing werewolf population. They know that Barstow, another pure-blood werewolf and former member of the unit, is responsible for the recent increase of lycanthropes. They must uncover Barstow's plan while maintaining their responsibilities to the DOD. Already assumed dead from a staged suicide at the prison, Laudon has no choice but to join their ranks - his only other option is to get eaten. Laudon's smart (and foul) mouth gets the group into more trouble than they imagined. He manages to get under the skin of friends and enemies alike. Along the way, he desperately tries to discover the truth behind his inclusion in this group.