Are you a Gnome? Do you want to be one? Do you know what one is? Do you have magical, technical, or any other talent whatsoever? (1) Do you pine after a non-holographic Omnicron, make design sketches of transmorphic actionable multidimensional exo-robotic systems, create novel subroutines for synthetic intelligences, tinker with Dwarf-proof beard mowers, imagine a grand unified theory of life, the universe, and facial hair, or take apart and modify negentropy cannons for fun and amusement? Do you like root vegetables? If you answered yes to one of these questions (2), then you may have what it takes to be a Paratechnologist, a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology! Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist. (3) With enlightening topics including , , and has more information than you care to know about Paratechnology. (4) If, on the absolutely slim chance you are interested in Gnomish technowizardry (5), then will be your easily disposed of indispensible guide to embarking upon the often smoldering, explosive, nonsensical, and somewhat erratic path of the Paratechnologist. 1. Real or imagined. 2. Or any other. 3. Who would? 4. Assuming you actually cared about Paratechnology in the first place. 5. Or are interested in making fun of those who are.