In case you're wondering, despite what
VH1
's
Behind the Music
might have you believe, hair metal is still alive and kicking. Unfortunately, it's more lowbrow than ever, thanks to L.A.'s
Steel Panther
. Taking debauchery to the next level for their debut,
Feel the Steel
,
gather inspiration from
Warrant
Poison
, and
Moetley Cruee
as they pretend to be a metal group with two primal desires: rocking faces and scoring chicks. Metal satire is a well-traveled road, with
Bad News
Spinal Tap
Tenacious D
all taking their respective turns portraying lunkheaded metalheads. Likewise, onetime
L.A. Guns
frontman
Ralph Saenz
(playing the part of "
Michael Starr
") does his best impression of an egotistical
David Lee Roth
/
Bret Michaels
type who dedicates 50 percent of his time on the microphone to objectifying women (
"Fat Girl [Thar She Blows]"
) and the other half to boasting about his appendage. It's a convincing act, as is the performance by the rest of the band (drummer
Stix Zadinia
, bassist
Lexxi Foxxx
, and lead guitarist
Satchel
), with their textbook
Hit Parader
shredding and spot-on attention to '80s production details. Metal references fly out of every corner, with nods to the
Def Leppard
ultra-processed "whoa oh" sound,
Richie Sambora
"Bad Medicine"
guitar talk box intro, and a slapping acoustic ode to
Extreme
's definitive power ballad,
"More Than Words."
's ability to create songs that sound like they came from 1987 is commendable. That's about as close to clever as it gets, though. As
David St. Hubbins
said, "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever," and
Saenz
's locker-room humor wears thin quickly. Even cameos from
Slipknot
Corey Taylor
Anthrax
Scott Ian
Nelson
Matt Nelson
the Donnas
'
Allison Robertson
and
Brett Anderson
the Darkness
' frontman
Justin Hawkins
can't keep the same dick joke interesting for 40 minutes straight. ~ Jason Lymangrover