It might be surprising to learn that the emotional qualities that allow you to remain close to others, empathize, collaborate, compromise, perspective-take, and easily resolve conflict, in most healthy relationships, can actually backfire with a toxic person.
Why? Because you see the good. You trust. You empathize. You take things "on the chin," for the betterment of the group. These emotionally intelligent attributes serve you well with non-narcissists and allow you to remain close and connected to others. They may also help you resolve conflict amicably and maintain healthy relationships. Yet, with a narcissist these EI features are often manipulated and exploited.
Unfortunately, a narcissist typically garners your trust before they do anything else. Once they have it, however, they abuse it by unscrupulously working behind your back against you. Before you realize what is happening, they have quickly convinced you that you are the "real" problem in the relationship.
In the absence of a solid education about your vulnerabilities regarding this dynamic and specific emotionally intelligent strategies to inoculate the narcissist, you may endure an inhumane amount of emotional abuse in almost every area of your life -- work, dating, marital, and familial.
This book will help you outsmart the narcissist in your life.