I am King... Not a king. I wish! I'm useless but not to that extent! Just King. My nickname. If I remember correctly a guy, we used to go to the same school started calling me that... I don't know why but I suspect because of a coat I used to have back then... Red. Who buys his kid a red long coat? Tell me? My mother! If you were looking at me from behind, I looked exactly like my aunt! The resemblance was amazing! Same shape, same height! You couldn't even see my legs! It was like a coat by itself, without a person underneath! Four sizes bigger, just in case! I don't know what happened to that guy. I mean the guy that gave me the name. He is probably somewhere, having a great life... Wife, a bunch of kids, good job. I'm thinking about him sometimes. Without reason at all. Just thinking about him. Or he has ended up homeless somewhere, found an old red coat and he's thinking about me, having a great life, a wife, a bunch of kids, a great job... and a dog. If I had everything else, I would definitely have a dog too.