Dear Lydia,
I need help with my neighbor.
She doesn't like me, but I can't stop thinking about having sex with her. Half of me wants to fuck her, and the other half wants to choke her. Or choke her while I fuck her.
How do I put her out of my mind?
Sincerely,
Guy Problems
Who is Lydia? Me, the advice columnist.
Who is Guy Problems? My sexy neighbor (in disguise).
What's the problem? I need his help, even though we don't like each other.
Guy Problems is about to become
my
guy problem.