In this Age of Engagement, power and opportunity flow. Those who draw attention to themselves do not generate as much connection as those who can paint the irresistible picture of what "we" can accomplish better together. This style of communicating may come more naturally to some, but no matter what your current tendencies, you can learn specific ways to unlock the Power of Us and thus become happier and higher performing with and for others. I know because I stumbled through earlier chapters of my life before discovering the best way to attract opportunities and meaningful, mutuality-minded friends. As a once extremely shy, stutterer-turned-Emmy-winning Wall Street Journal reporter, NBC "Magazine of the Air" journalist, and paid public speaker, I researched, then kept practicing this approach. It has enabled me to pull in apt allies rather than "push" at people to do things, and I have even been given opportunities I did not know existed.
To see how you can benefit from this approach, consider the following questions:
• Do people stop listening before you stop talking?
• Do you feel overextended and underappreciated?
• Are your ideas ignored?
• Do you find yourself resenting others who won't support you?
• Are your meetings mired in details?
• Are you uncomfortable introducing yourself to strangers?
• Does your team get off topic and into conflict?
• Are some people not keeping agreements?
If you answered yes to any of these, it could be a sign that you, too, may want to grow your connective communication power to have greater impact and success. And if you answered no to all of these, I commend you for the skills you've already developed. Yet you may also want to further strengthen your talents because you have already experienced glimpses of the power that you can have as an Opportunity Maker.
The actionable insights in this book will help you build greater connection, enabling you to attract more opportunities, adventures, and friendship into your life in ways that generate those same upsides for others and support the greater good.
When you are on the same wavelength as someone else, you open the door to greater friendship and opportunities together. When you are out of sync with someone, however, that door won't open. You will never see what you have missed in your life. You'll both feel frustrated or worse. Each time you do not connect with others, you lose the chance for that unknown possible adventure, that accomplishment that might have been.
Yet when you connect with others as a perceived Opportunity Maker, you create opportunities and success that enrich your own life and others' lives. You generate new value through:
• bringing together the right team to solve a problem or seize an opportunity where those involved experience the thrill of using best talents together around a sweet spot of mutual interest;
• cocreating or adapting a successful new "something"—a message, organizational model, or process;
• coinventing mechanisms that evoke a "virtuous circle" of self-perpetuating success; and
• collectively crafting a story that highlights something others can do that holds the potential to improve a situation.
I am driven by the desire to see each situation as an opportunity to cocreate fresh ways to innovate and to collectively stand up to injustice. The optimal approach is to recruit unexpected allies where, together, we can offer a more enticing, credible, and fair option rather than "just" attacking those who are acting unjustly. Whether you are driven by these same desires or you are drawn to connect for other reasons, adopting a mutuality mindset will help you increase your impact.
A better predicator of success than smarts, money, hard work, or even attractiveness is your capacity to connect with a mutuality mindset and attract diverse support. The actionable, research-based insights in this book will enable you to do this, helping you build deeper connection and attract more opportunities, adventures, and friendship into your life in ways that generate those same upsides for others and support the greater good. You can learn to become an Opportunity Maker.