Has evolution made humans into big babies? Can a grown man be toppled with a straw and a newt? Is salamander spit the newest weapon of mass destruction? The answers lie Somewhere Upriver. Douglas Mortimer, just beginning graduate school, is on his way to fulfilling his lifelong dream of becoming a great scientist. But when Douglas hires an eccentric old herpetologist as a research assistant, his plans for a successful future are derailed. He enters a world of toxic salamanders, quirky characters and government conspiracies, where the outlandish becomes amazingly believable.