The Best Laid Plans features a gang of inept robbers. The narrator tells us that he is 'a robber not a thief.' These are the stories of their lives and loves. Here are twenty one stories ranging from the beginnings of his career to his 'retirement.' These include the time they took the corpse of Uncle Bill on a job, a unique way of stealing a safe, how Donna at the greasy spoon turned into a man and God's Tupperware party.