On the brink of suicide, an insecure grad school drop out lets himself get abducted by two kooky time traveling Venusians on a mission to prevent Armageddon by rescuing the legendary Jesus H. Christ and helping him find the legendary emerald tablets, but when he's cheated by his sources and abandoned by his allies, he must overcome his uncertainties to out-maneuver his rival plotters and the Romans before somebody gets crucified.