Imagine waking up tomorrow morning like any other day. You make your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. The only thing is, the reflection looking back is unrecognizable. Who is that hideous person in the mirror?
May 27, 1983 this would happen to me. I wouldn't see my reflection for three weeks after the accident but the trauma I suffered would take over three decades to recover from psychologically, my body was unharmed.
I was ejected from the passenger seat, traveling at a high rate of speed (67mph). I would hit the highway face first as witnessed by a PA State Trooper who was approx. 500 ft. away from the tragic event. It was his quick thinking and actions that would save my life that day. Saved for what reason I would ask myself for years. Why me? My face was completely shattered and I did not look like me nor would I ever.
When I was finally aware of my surroundings, that Monday, I had no idea what happened. I was in the hospital hooked up to a respirator which made it impossible to speak. My eyes were swollen shut; I immediately began to panic. Then I heard a calming voice, my mom. "Chrissy", she stated, "You were in an accident and are in the hospital". I had no idea what she was talking about.
Too Phased is my memoir surrounding this horrible event in my life that would change not only my life but my family's as well. There would be over 30 surgical procedures to try and regain some sense of normalcy. The years going through pain and operating rooms and finally becoming a nurse myself because of what I had gone through. Our society places an enormous amount of pressure on women to fit in. You have to be beautiful and thin or somehow you are worth less.
I never thought of myself as beautiful or even pretty, just average. My friends were much prettier than me but now I was absolutely hideous and that is not acceptable in our society. People would just stare at me when I first went out in public. I would hear the whispers, the laughing and see the finger pointing. Unfortunately, some would just say mean things. "Get a new face" was the worst. How can a perfect stranger just go by me and say such mean things?
How I survived all of this is still a mystery. I was in denial for quite a long time in the beginning and then I lived my life as a very angry person...this led to drinking to excess. I never thought I could or would be happy ever again. Even after becoming an OR nurse, my dream after the surgery was almost done. I wasn't living, I was just trying to get through each day as it came, never caring about consequences.
It took over three decades for me to heal from the psychological trauma that came with the accident. It is an inspirational story that will have you crying, laughing and cheering for the protagonist, me. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I was able to talk myself down off that ledge I was on one more time. Some people are not so lucky. They are the ones I need to reach.