Dear Earthling Diary, Today has been my most embarrassing, worst, bumfluff day on earth so far. It was insane in the methane! I had the best, most awesomely fartastic plan to make my mark and get the attention of Olivia Barnett, the most popular, cutest girl in school, but that backfired big-time... Through my rear. And now, because of my epic stink-bomb that had everyone in school ducking for cover, I have an even bigger, rattle-worthy problem than just Olivia Barnett's stunk-up, offended nose. My best friend, Alex, is way too close to blowing a blue dart right into the bulls-eye of my big, brown whopper of a secret--that I'm not from earth. I'm an Undercover Alien Kid from the Planet UFARTED. My parents are going to seriously honk their fog horns when they find out I've booty-blown our cover. *Squeak* Live long and fart well, Skidmark (a.k.a. Mark) Rumpus Junior Blaster of UFARTED