To the outside world, a perfect family, but behind closed doors, the pain, suffering, beating and the secrets kept growing. My book is of growing, maturing and trying to understand the facts of life without anyone telling you about it. Unfortunately learning and understanding what sex is about at the age of three years of age. Learning on your own, coping the best way you can own with the dynamics of dysfunctionality within your own family. Learning how to cope, and take care of yourself when there is no one there to help you. Praying, hoping that you can grow up, and move out and be thankful that you weren't beaten to death. And thanking God that you have one more chance at life. The road to recovery truly begins when that family's loyalty tempered with violence, physical, mental, corporal abuse, drinking, drugs and control. The violence that we all suffered at the hands of our parents. No reason or responsibility, with no sense of love or security, just only pain to each individual. Your loyalty to yourself comes first. Trust me when I say this. You are not alone. Do not ever be ashamed of your past do not be afraid of the future or what it may bring. You are a part of your future, and what tools you use to make it work for you.