2 PRINCIPLES TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE- Avoid the Pain of Divorce, Disrupt Negative Thought Patterns, Regain Emotional Balance, Evaluate Marriage Foundation, Identify Core Issues, Modify Marital Interactions, Rebuild Relationship Hedge and Allow For Natural Restoration. 2 Principles To Save Your Marriage will empower you to create an environment for relief, acceptance, growth and transformation by- • Immediately challenging your position and mindset to help you understand you have more power than you realize. It will address your overwhelming belief that change must start with your spouse and this is the only way for the marriage to work. • Helping you understand why your current approach actually adds to the marital conflicts. Disagreements are natural in marriage and all human interactions. Conflicts have more to do with how these disagreements are handled than the topic of the disagreement. You will see how changes in your approach to disagreements can de-escalate the negative effects of the conflict. • Leading you through a series of exercises that will help you evaluate the major aspects of your life and marriage. In the face of conflict we often rush to take action before we have fully understood the nature of the problem. A better diagnosis of your life and marriage will put you in a better position to implement positive changes that will help rebuild your relationship. • You will learn to then view the issues of your marriage in a way that is not influenced by your emotionally charged feelings or assumptions. This will help you keep issues refined in the parameters of context. Blaming, accusing and demanding is replaced with objective assessment. • Decrease instances of emotionally driven dysfunctional behaviour. In the heat of the moment, in the height of emotion and over many years of conditioning couples can react to each other in very negative ways. Understanding how these interactions affect the relationship makes us more open to considering better alternatives. • Address private feelings and behaviours that conceal issues that are not communicated. The hidden underlying emotions and actions can impact a marriage more than those that are discussed. These ignored issues can keep a couple feeling distant but expressing them can strengthen emotional bonds. • Increase Constructive Communication. Destructive communication techniques escalate issues far beyond what is necessary and increase pain, distress and negative feelings. Constructive communication seeks to minimize the effects of disagreements and reach peaceful resolutions. • Emphasize strength and reinforce gains. When you have a sprained finger it is easy to focus on the pain and that one area. So it is in marriage; we focus on the few areas of pain and may completely ignore everything that is working well. Too often what we focus on are the superficial issues and miss the foundational strengths. Some of the common marital issues that will be discussed are • Getting married for the wrong reasons. • Intimacy issues. • Identity Issues. • Issues with the Hassles of Life. • Lack of Shared Vision. • Unmet Expectations. • Inability to Resolve Conflicts. • Infidelity Issues. Marriage is one of the most important institutions in society and a good marriage like any other institution must be built. The aim of this book is to give you more insight so you are empowered to embrace and overcome the challenges of marital life.