It is the day of the village fete. Everyone is setting out their stall on the village green next to the post office. The Blacksmiths Arms is unveiling its new lunchtime menu and Honor Blackman has baked one hundred scones (fifty fruit, fifty cheese) for the Women's Institute stall. All the Major has to do is deliver said scones to the WI stall before mid day, then he will be free to do as he pleases, whether it is sitting in the Blacksmiths beer garden for the rest of the afternoon thereby avoiding the irritations of what he calls "a fete worse than death" - see what he did there? - or sit listening to Lady Pamela Pilkington ask why a horse should be measured in hands and not feet. Or hooves. Or maybe just sulk around the study in loose robes for the rest of the day. But in Leafy Northumberland, nothing is ever as easy as it looks. For one thing, the Major's Jaguar has broken down. Again. He would ask car enthusiast and sub post mistress Penny Laine to help, but alas, his pride and vanity as usual prevent him. And he has other worries. Sir Roderick Pilkington has laid a drunken bet at his club that he will not only hunt on the Major's land that very Sunday (something the Major - the reluctant 'Lord Morpeth' has hitherto forbidden) but will capture and render as a trophy that most elusive of furry nemeses Charlie The Fox, who you may recall from the series of delicious vignettes that was "A Thirsty Thursday At The Towers". Add to this the fact that Countess Lydia has again broken into the Towers and is set to snaffle the Major's objets d'art and put them on Ebay and that Mike has invented a cologne he calls 'Pimp Pheromones' the Major's is set to have a very average day. Oh, and Dr Vincenza Moretti is back. With a sniper rifle. What's the worst? Will the Major deliver the scones (fifty cheese, fifty fruit) on time? Will dastardly Sir Rod finally catch Charlie The Fox? Will Countess Lydia make anything from Antiques Roadshow?