The name of this chapbook as well as the section titles are representative of my experiences as a queer nonbinary young adult. As I was growing up I was also growing into my true gender identity, giving me little time to mourn my youth before being thrust immediately into another adolescence. Reuniting with the medium of poetry after struggling through mental and physical challenges over the last 5 years has reminded me of my capacity for self healing and for finding humor and beauty in anything. Poetry doesn't always offer me solace, but it does always discomfort me in the exhilarating way that only answers that create more questions do.