The Land of Princesses is a pink-and-purple, pony-infested wasteland where every girl is royalty, for all the good it does them. Meet Brigid, an underachiever sent off to a bottom-tier boarding school that "teaches the controversy" over science vs. sorcery. There she makes a few friends and a terrible enemy, an enemy so terrible that he can't seem to stay away from his old school, and is thwarted by someone too young to have a driver's license. That's how terrible this enemy is. Thrill to a tale of swords & sorcery, dueling & delinquency, and napping & necromancy. Book One of a trilogy, including Book Two: Diary of a Teenage Warlord, and Book Three: Diary of a God Empress. Author Randal Svea was a writer for The Onion.