In February of 2015, I was attending a funeral of a high school friend who passed away at age 51 from pancreatic cancer. That was the first that I really heard of it in my circle. Little did I know that I was to be immersed in it very soon. Severe back pain, unexplained weight loss, and 5 years of diabetes were plaguing my husband, Steve. With no urgency from his doctors, and no findings on any tests, we took a much needed trip to the emergency room in the early hours of Tuesday, May 12th, 2015. There, our nightmare started- stage 4 pancreatic cancer. There, we were thrown into a world of diagnoses, doctors, hospitals, medications, chemotherapy, and helplessness. Here, married for 29 years to my high school sweetheart, we had to forge a team. A team that would be impenetrable to the statistics that would slap us in the face. After digesting this information, one afternoon we were standing in our family room, we were facing each other and I began to cry. Steve looked at me, and as firmly but as compassionately as he could muster, he said, "Andrea, you can have your feelings, but you can't cry in front of me. Because when you cry in front of me, it makes me feel like I have no hope." And that was that. I squared my shoulders, and was in battle mode, for him, with him. We WERE going to beat this. And THAT was the day that changed my thinking to "Hope", "One day at a time", and ,"Never give up". Attitude is everything! I started a Caring Bridge journal, which turned into my book. My Caring Bridge journal is a compilation of everything that was happening through Steve's diagnosis, treatment, death, and thereafter. The good, the bad, and the ugly. This truly reflects his fight, and how he showed inspiration and hope in living through this devastating disease. I hope this can help someone "find light in the darkness of adversity". Ride on, honey. Love and peace to all of you.