Tristram Shandy, a distant relative of the Tristram Shandy, is bemired in dreadful Sussexshire. He has fallen into the hands of Captain Midnight - leader of the band of smugglers who infest the lower Cuckmere valley and who have their headquarters in Alfriston. This "Captain" claims to be Blind Pew who made a brief but terrible appearance in Jim Hawkins' Treasure Island. As the man claiming to be Pew struggles against his impending death he narrates his life story to Tristram - who must write it down to earn his keep: and for the benefit of Posterity. It is the story of how a boy became a sailor, was made a slaver, and was turned into a pirate in the company of that most infamous of pirates: Long John Silver. Tristram has his own troubles and worries: an unreliable libido, a mother-in-law who thinks that his taste runs to stable boys, and a wife who has on overwhelming urge to get pregnant. If only this Pew would hurry up and die Tristram could get on with his life.