Attention, boys, girls, and nonbinary sorcerers, The enclosed chapters depict our harrowing journey to safeguard humanity from a vindictive, jealous sorcerer and his plot to resurrect the world's most deadly sorceress. Yes, really. We bet you are wondering why this jealous man decided to raise a woman from the dead. For that answer, we suggest you start reading. This explanation is going to take a while. Before you start, however, we do want to offer these words of wisdom: Know who your friends are. Know that they are trustworthy. And, above all, know that you will never be defined by your family tree. And sometimes, it's better to not know your roots. So put down that genealogy test. Trust us. You really don't want to find out. We didn't.