In Peter's opinion, the government can do whatever the hell they want, so long as they stay right the hell out of his life. But when a stupid, stupid, government conspiracy forces his best friend Albest to fake his own death and legally change his last name to Door, he suddenly decides... to not give a fuck. That's right about the moment someone blows up his apartment. His best friend Albest, three-time award winner for World's Worst Human Being and runner-up for Douchebag-of-the-Year, proceeds to drag him kicking and screaming into a dark, treacherous whirlpool of questions, diarrhea-inducing fast food, and alien conspiracy cover-ups worthy of a 5,000 word Reddit post. Who are the shadowy men in black? Where does the government's spooky-ass, super-advanced technology come from? And why does Albest hate eating food that isn't served out of a plastic container? As Peter follows his small band of friends up this proverbial mountain of crazy, something just feels too familiar, too simplistic, too to be true...